My Little White Lies Have Orange Polka Dots

slothtier:

gaylordsasspora:

rockseelalonde:

dampho:

bullying destroyed my self-esteem hahaha

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A POST THAT SO ACCURATELY DESCRIBED HOW I FEEL

I dont care if this is one of those annoying comments, thank you so much for making this comic. Thank you thank you thank you for saying what I can never find words to describe

This.
This is why I do not reblog those “youre beautiful” things.
This was me from the time I was 5 up until just recently.
The entire time, I had been told every single day how ugly I was.
How unappealing I was.
How no one could love me because of how I looked.
My parents wonder why I’m so hard on myself for how I look, and its because of my mother, my brothers, my peers. I can’t look at myself in the mirror, unless I’m checking my hair, or covering my face in makeup. I do not take selfies outside if cosplay, and the rare times I do, I send it to my girlfriend for her to see, then I delete it. Seeing my face makes me want to rake it off or on my hard days, commit suicide even.
And then my parents get angry at me for not allowing people to compliment me, even though I compliment others. It’s hypocritical, they say. And yes, they would be correct in that. They say I’m fishing for compliments, even though I try to keep it to myself 90% of the time. No. Fucking wrong. It’s because my entire life, I’ve been groomed that I am not beautiful, I am worthless, no one could love me. And they think my “fishing for compliments” would be enough to fill up the lack of self esteem I never grew up with?
Yeah right
It doesn’t work that way

my entire life has been summed up into a post i don’t know what to do anymore